saltburn is about a gay little freak fumbling a boy bad bitch so hard he decides to kill him and his entire family about it. and then he’s like no yea I wasn’t IN love with him or anything I just wanted to get their estate. drinking his cum and fucking his grave were necessary to the plan ok.
i think actually the funniest thing you can do as a pirate is bury all your money and then kill all 15 men who know where you buried it and then also just like die too so no one knows where you buried it and then one day Some Guy who kind of knew you (and really likes cheese!!!) gets stuck on the island you buried your treasure on for so long that he just keeps digging until he finds it one day and then is just There With Your Gold until your old quartermaster who you were scared af about (but no one knows why) takes over a ship with a bunch of other pirates because a ?? year old boy got the map to said treasure (but it’s not even used to find the treasure in the end anyways becuase the cheese guy already found it) and so your ex boyfriend sorry ex quartermaster starts a mutiny and takes over the ship and then the ?? boy starts another mutiny and kills at least one grown ass man and your ex quarterfriend is like damn i guess this is my son now and surrenders so they wont like hang him or whatever and then the cheese guy is like hey!! i know where the treasure is and takes them all to it but there’s so much of it that they cant even take it all and the island sucks so much and is maybe haunted so bad that theyre like we should never come back for the rest and then they leave and your ex boyquartermasterfriend is like peace out and steals some of the gold and no one even cares because he was pretty alright in the end and then the ?? year old boy decides ?? years later to recount this story but he’s probably full of shit so no one knows what actually happened and you dont even care because you died before it all happened anyways
percy getting automatically pissed off by ares at camp jupiter even tho he’s lost his memory and doesn’t remember their past has to be the funniest shit ever. their beef transcends the fickleness of the psyche
As I sit on the cold, hard floor of an apartment littered with boxes and bags and bits of lives that are slowly being melded together, I glance around at the clutter and chaos and find a sense of comfort.
Hestia, Eternal Flame of Olympus, I see you there amongst the moving boxes and the overflowing bags. I feel your presence in the first cup of hot tea brewed in a new kitchen. I hear your gentle voice ringing though the early morning silence as I prep for a day of unpacking and moving and organizing.
From honey in my tea to cinnamon on my toast and a candle softly flickering in the kitchen, I feel your warmth flowing into this small space that my family and I are turning into a home and I am overcome with love and thankfulness.
My mother, Hestia, Maiden of Fire, who’s oil slicked hair radiates warmth and gentleness, it is an honor to be your child and I am ever grateful to feel your presence and know that you are guiding me. Light in the darkness, Keeper of the Flame, First and Last; my Matron, my Mother, my Ember that burns ever bright..thank you for being in my life
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